We're down one dog

If you were a five-year-old labrador, which package would you choose:

Package A:

A small, confined back yard and no one to play with

Package B:

60 acres of freedom with a best bud to hang out with

We thought package B too. Therefore, Ripley has gone out to live with Grant's parents, where his life will probably be a little better. We'll miss him, but it just makes sense. And now we will have a little more flexibility in our own backyard. I am predicting more outdoor activities for the boys, more flowers for me, and maybe a hammock or something for Grant.

Here's Ripley 5 years ago. Aren't puppies the cutest!

We'll miss you Rip! But we'll still see ya around.

Something else to sing about

This is directed at my mother and my younger sister:

Which one of you taught Jagger "God is great, beer is good...."?

Because he was singing that all day at church today.

Just thought you should know.

Nothing to see here

Nothing to see here, just a naked baby playing football inside.

Happy Tuesday Friends.

Are you Pregnant????

Let's talk about when it is okay to ask a woman if she is pregnant. I'll give you a hint about where I am going with this.... it's usually not okay to ask.

This topic is near and dear to my heart because I have been asked if I was pregnant when I most definitely was not. Granted, it was sometime after I had Cash, but not right after, so it was still offensive. I'm over that though, so I look pregnant sometimes, deal with it.... Anyway, I am more hyped up about this topic because recently I overheard the same thing happen to another woman.

Here's the scene:

In a public restroom while washing hands:

Woman A: Oh, what a cute little baby bump. How far along are you?

Woman B: Oh no, I am not pregnant. (She was smiling and shaking her head, but I knew she was crying inside)

HELLO? Woman A, what the heck were you thinking? First of all, don't talk to strangers. Second, now poor Woman B, whose only sin was eating too many french fries at lunch, will now have an eating disorder and burn the outfit she wore that day. I could have slapped Woman A. But instead, I just left the restroom like I hadn't heard a thing.

So, I have been thinking about it, and I have come up a few times when it is okay to ask a woman if she is pregnant:

1. If you already know she is pregnant.

2. If she is in labor.

3. If she is your best friend and is not drinking the glass of wine in front of her.

4. If she is the mom in the Duggar family.

5. If she is wearing a shirt like this.

Otherwise... No matter how pregnant a woman may look, if you feel the temptation to ask, don't!

Instead do this... Just quietly in your head think "Oh, she should not be wearing that." Problem solved. Everyone's happy.

Good thing I know guy code

Brei: What would you like for Father's Day?
Grant: For you to quit spending all my money.

Nah, he can't mean that. I think that's just guy code for "I want a hand-made craft from the boys, some new clothes for the both of us, and some more flowers for the front yard."

That's how I am going to interpret it, anyway.

Hooked on Metal Cabinets

I am thinking I need to stray from all the traditional decor in my house, for a more ecletic vibe, perhaps. And I think one of these puppies would do the trick.

What do you think? Likey? All of these are pricey, so I'll be accepting donations.

I especially love the legs on these first two.

Above Images from Sonrisa Furniture

Above Images from Bond & Bowery

Or friends, if you see something of the sort with a garage-sale/left-on-the-curb type of price tag...

Call me.

According to Jagger

I started this post a couple months ago, but for some reason never got around to publishing it. Anywho, here goes:

~~~

This has been floating around Facebook. I thought it would be cute to share. I asked Jagger all of these questions, and here is his reply.

1. What is something mom always says to you? The directions.

2. What makes mom happy? That I do good things .

3. What makes mom sad? That I get hurt.

4. How does your mom make you laugh? She says funny jokes.

5. What was your mom like as a child? I don't know.

6. How old is your mom? 65 pounds. (For the record, that is wrong.)

7. How tall is your mom? Very tall, all the grown ups are tall.

8. What is her favorite thing to do? To do work (It's not.)

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? She gets hurt.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? What? (That word is not in our vocabulary I guess.)

11. What is your mom really good at? Doing good things, and exercising. (I guess he didn't read that post about sabotaging my workout.)

12. What is your mom not very good at? Not very good at playing with magnets. (Too bad I am awesome at playing with magnets. He doesn't even know about my skills.)

13. What does your mom do for her job? I don't know.

14. What is your mom's favorite food? Cereal and I think... cheese.

15. What makes you proud of your mom? That she does good things.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? She is not a cartoon!!!! (This question seemed to make him very angry.)

17. What do you and your mom do together? We play.

18. How are you and your mom the same? We are not the same.

19. How are you and your mom different? We are not different.

20. How do you know your mom loves you? She says "I Love You".

21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? To Bonkers and Hy-Vee, and Schnucks, and California. (Not so much.)

Some gladiator love

This is what I did this weekend:

And usually when I do this, I hope to come home with new things to decorate the house. This time a I found a little of that, but my most exciting purchase was this:

Do you think it goes with the wall color?

Wedding Season

I am a happily married woman.

So why do I look at wedding dresses, flowers, venues, and honeymoon spots online as if I am planning my wedding?

I guess I have wedding fever. I blame the recent wedding we attended, a friend's new engagement, fast internet, and too much free time.

Anyhow, enough about my wierdness. Here are some pics from Grant's cousin, Victoria's, wedding in Chicago a couple weeks ago. It was GORGEOUS!

The things I have done

I saw this on another blog and thought it looked like fun.

The things i've done have been bolded.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (Does Rockband count?)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyworld/Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea (Watch the storm at sea, but from the beach)
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning (I think)
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you were not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run (Granted, I was in like 3rd grade)
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (But I keep forgetting)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been laid off from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Looks like I have my work cut out for me.

How to NOT have a bikini-ready body this summer

• Have kids.
• Marry a man that bakes brownies about 5 times a week.
• Keep no cookies in the house, so that you get so desperate you will bake them from scratch and eat half of the cookie dough.
• Buy 100-Calorie Snack Packs, and then eat the whole box in one sitting.
• Be comfortable in your air-conditioned living room, so that you never go outside to get a tan.
• Refuse to pay for a tan.
• Mention that you need plastic surgery to your husband. When he agrees, and says "it could be a possibility if working out really hard doesn't do the trick "... sabotage your workout.

This is pretty good advice. Trust me, I know from experience.

RIP Sushi Cornell 2008-2009

Dear Sushi,

I am sorry I was so unwelcoming when you first came into our home. You see, I had simply sent Grant out on an errand to Wal-Mart for dog food and cough medicine. I didn't realize he would come home with dog food, cough medicine, and you.... and a little aquarium, and little pebbles, and a fake little plant, and fish food and aquarium cleaner. It just took me by surprise, that's all.

And I am sorry I made a big fuss when Grant and Jagger suggested that we keep you on the counter. I just don't like things cluttering up my too-small kitchen, especially things that are alive and have the potential to smell fishy, that's all.

And I am sorry that I vowed to never feed you or take care of you. It was just my way of getting back at Grant for bringing you into our lives, that's all.

And I am sorry that I moved you back into the corner of Jagger's room where it was easy to forget about you, and easy to let Jagger's friends over-feed you, unbeknown to us. And I am sorry I disconnected you oxygen supply, it's just that there wasn't an outlet nearby anymore, that's all.

And though I never wished death upon you, I am sorry that I am not sad that you died. It's just that I am heartless, that's all.

But you did break one little heart in this household. Jagger cried a good minute or two when he realized you were belly-up. In fact, he cried until his daddy promised to buy him not just one, but two fish to replace you.

So Sushi, although you are replaceable, we will miss you! You were the original!